Real Talk // My Love Affair with San Francisco

I wrote this a year ago but as the sun begins to surface at the start of our late San Francisco summer, I felt it was time to share with you all. Enjoy…

I must admit that for the past 8 years I’ve been in a tumultuous, polarizing, dysfunctional, magnetic, beautiful love affair with this city. For as long as I can remember, I have had a small case of commitment-a-phobia. A prolonged commitment to careers, to people, to cities, to dreams, to things, to places, to love all tends to suffocate me. By nature, I love to constantly toy with the idea of new and next. I live for the next adventure, the next chapter and the next great love. So for someone who tends to avoid routine at all cost, how is it that I’ve ended up living in the same city for the majority of my twenties? How have I kept the same geographical lover for the past 9 years? I get asked this question so often, as everyone I meet seems to think I was born for somewhere else.  Continue Reading

Real talk, and why we need more of it.

I admitted something today.

 

I talk about safe, surface level things on this blog. I post pictures about my travel, my style, my experiences, and my recent projects. I upload pretty pictures, flattering photos and daily fashion tips. 

 

And, yes, I have always tried to be honest with my readers. I tell you that I eat In n’ Out even when I know I shouldn’t. I work my booty off at the gym 5 days a week to be able to drink and eat the way I do. I mention my therapist, the fact that I’m a complete head case at times and my socially awkward, obsessive nature. That feels honest, on a very self-deprecating, very light-hearted level. But I don’t write a lot of depth. 

 

That’s the honest truth. I love the escapism of the blogging world. Pretty pictures, inspiring outfits, exotic locations and Pinterest worthy decorating projects are a welcome reprieve from my “real life” news feed. However, on a personal level I respect those writers and bloggers that aren’t afraid of “real talk.” Those are the voices I keep coming back to.

 

Although uniquely beautiful, none of our lives are perfect. The comment I receive the most when discussing my blog and various social media accounts? “I want your life.” and “You are always traveling, when do you work?”

 

Well, here’s the truth. Yes, I travel, a lot. And yes, I work, a lot. I work when I travel. Sometimes, most times, I forget to clock out. There are times that I don’t get to truly enjoy the experience because I’m still at work in my mind, or I’m actually still clocked in to my work on the road. I’ve made travel and new experiences the highest priority in my life over the last 5 years. I was panicking about turning 30 and about how quickly time seemed to be going. I spent the first half of my twenties in a serious relationship, one which didn’t end in the fairy tale way that I had counted on. And that’s a story for a different time. After, I decided to focus on accumulating as many new moments, places and experiences as I could possibly manage in a desperate attempt to defy time. Sometimes, I have let that take precedence over things that it probably shouldn’t have, budding relationships, finances, stability, and love. I love saying yes. I work hard, I take on side projects, I scramble, I grind in order to say yes to a life jam-packed full of new and now.

 

But there are sacrifices that have been made to live this life. To the “I want your life” commenters: I envy you as well. I envy your beautiful new baby, your fiance, your daily routine, your perfectly managed home and the fact that your Sunday morning yoga instructor remembers your name. At times, I want to slow down, sit still, and focus on some stability.

 

And that’s usually the moment that I buy another flight out-of-town, because I have yet to accept what Emerson so wisely stated, “My giant goes with me wherever I go.”

 

So here is to appreciating our unique paths and life choices, to accepting that no lifestyle is more envious than another and to having more “real talk” going forward on 5 o’clock sunday.  I hope we all like the pretty pictures as much as getting to know the human that’s wearing them.

 

💋 Brooks